The key is to
Keep calm and
FOCUS
Discourse isn’t about changing minds. It’s about bringing minds together. When done right, civil discourse online creates opportunities to learn, connect, and create something enjoyable. Increase the chances of these positive opportunities on your social media feed by practicing these civil discourse guidelines.
THE KEY
Focus On Ideas, Not Personalities
Keep in mind that civil discourse must make room for offensive expression to move a debate along, but arguments that attack a person’s characteristics/personality instead of the person’s ideas cause more problems than solutions. It’s tempting to say something demeaning during a heated discussion, especially when the person disagreeing with you is disrespectful or stubbornly ignorant. But those discussions are just win-lose battles that are all about saving face. Save your energy instead by keeping your focus on ideas, not personalities.
THE METHOD
Focus on the goal
If you enter the conversation to understand something about someone else’s view or your own view, you’re less likely to become frustrated when the encounter doesn’t go as desired.
Avoid personal attacks
Putting other people down may make “you” feel better but it won’t get you closer to a resolution, create a better community, or “make America great again”.
Recognize people change
People are not their ideas; they can change their minds. So focus on the issues rather than on the individual promoting them.
Actively listen
Listen to understand rather than to reply. Pay attention to the other person’s experiences and note how they differ from your own by connecting the dots between your experiences and theirs.
THE KEY
Open Your Mind To Different Perspectives
Life is full of variety: various foods, various apps, various people. Variety makes life interesting! So keep in mind that different people hold different points of view, and that’s ok. The best decisions about policy, action, and awesome tech creations can only be made after considering multiple perspectives. By staying open-minded and curious, you’ll be able to listen to others’ views and ask questions to figure out why they feel the way they do or think a certain way.
THE METHOD
Check yourself
Is now a good time to comment? Before commenting on a complex topic, consider whether you are open to learning something new. If you’re too tired, hungry, or grouchy, then don’t comment. Just scroll on!
Acknowledge complexities
Recognize that most issues will require more than one solution. Like many sides or parts to a story, there are many sides to an issue; each part may need a different solution.
Use curiosity
It’s easy to get defensive when we hear ideas and perspectives that we disagree with, but it prevents great conversations. Use curiosity to reduce defensiveness and to create a more productive discourse.
Practice intellectual humility
What you know is limited to your personal experiences and experiences are not universal. Let down your guard and let other people’s views test what you know. You might learn something valuable about the topic, the person, or even yourself.
THE KEY
Construct Useful Arguments
Everybody has opinions about something but there is a difference between an opinion and an argument. Opinions are just expressions of preferences and only the first part of an argument. Turn your opinions into useful arguments using the A.R.E framework: Assertion, Reasoning, Evidence.
THE METHOD
Assertion
An opinion or assertion is the main point of an argument. It’s usually a simple statement like “Television news is boring”. An assertion is the main point of your argument.
Reasoning
Reasoning is the because part of an argument, as in “Television news is boring because it doesn’t talk about issues that are relevant
to me.”
”
Evidence
Just as reasoning supports an assertion, evidence supports reasoning: “Television news is boring because it doesn’t talk about issues that are relevant to me. All week, I’ve seen stories about the American tariffs, but I live on Norfolk Island! Their tariffs are their problem!”
Wanna learn more?
Sharing informed opinions is great but disagreements are still bound to occur. When they do, it’s important to know how to disagree in a way that avoids verbal or physical attacks. You can start by using a basic three-step method. Learn How
THE KEY
Use Credible Evidence
Social media is full of fake news because it’s easier to share any information (true or false) based on how we feel about it rather than the facts. Sure, fake news can be entertaining, but is it worth the trouble it causes? Don’t be a part of the problem; be the solution. Defend your interpretations using verified information.
THE METHOD
Quote experts
Not your favorite opinionated influencer, but from people with verified experience and knowledge of the particular topic.
Use research
Refer to credible research studies, laws, or case histories that support your opinions and arguments. Don’t know what’s credible and what’s not? Click on the yellow button below to explore the method.
Use examples
Reference historical facts or events, personal real-life experiences, eyewitness accounts, stories, or illustrations that support your point.
Share statistics
Strengthen your arguments and make them more impactful by sharing statistics.
THE KEY
Seek Common Ground
Seeking common ground is not about agreeing with opposing ideas. It’s about figuring out what we disagree about and discovering what common purpose or concerns we share. It helps pave the way from disagreement to resolution.
THE METHOD
Preserve dignity and respect
People are less likely to become defensive when their given sincere respect. It doesn’t mean agreeing with them, but allowing them to share their ideas without attacking them.
Interpret with empathy
When listening to others, try to see from their point of view. Do you find yourself dismissing their message when their idea conflicts with your own? Set aside your biases and give your full attention to finding out how the other person sees the same situation differently from you.
Identify mutual concerns
Forcing or expecting others to change their ideals and behavior creates distrust. People change ideals only when there is trust and they believe it’s in their best interest to change. Manage disagreements by pointing out your shared concerns and common goals until trust and respect are established.
Honor diversity
Diversity is about respecting, or at the very least, tolerating one another’s uniqueness. Different perspectives spark the creative search for effective solutions. Without it, life becomes sterile. Honoring diversity doesn’t mean we will always agree. It means we can still respect each other even when we disagree.
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